Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Can't seem to focus

I have been having a lot of problems the last few days trying to focus. It seems that the reminders of the past brought up this weekend are bouncing around in my head.

I like to deal with my emotions in a straight forward simple way - I roll them up tight in a little ball and push that ball as far down in my psyche as I can get it. Then, I deny that any emotions are there and do not allow myself to think about them. It has worked for years. Now, though, my mind seems to be all over the place - here, 20 years ago, the future, 10 years ago. It has caused some problems.

I bought my playoff tickets yesterday for the Carolina Hurricanes. They are playing so well, it seems that they will definitely get a playoff spot. I passed on tickets the first time through, but the Canes extended the offer again in an e-mail I got yesterday. I decided to buy myself a ticket, then hours later I realized that I am a total idiot. There is no schedule for the playoffs yet, as no team in the NHL has actually secured a spot. I know they will start in April, but I have no idea which days it will be. I have class every Tuesday night through the end of April. I have already purchased tickets for the APS Gala on April 19. I have plans for various dates in May. What will happen if I have a game on the same night? It's not like they are regular season tickets - they are much more expensive. I also won't have two to sell - just one, lone ticket. I'm not sure if I would even be able to get rid of it if I needed to in a pinch.

Darn these emotions!! Get back in your corner so I can get back to life.

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